Mass Para Ti

Medical Fact: Bingeing on bean soup and ginger ale right before bed WILL make you explode.  There are some disasters even Bean-o can’t stop.

What?: I just watched Charlotte’s Web for the first time in like 15 years probably.  The last line of the movie is, “It’s not often that someone comes along who is a true friend, AND a good writer.  Charlotte was both.”  What?  I think we should adapt that line for the endings of all movies.  Aladdin: “It’s not often that someone comes along who is a true friend, AND a genie.”  Lost Skeleton of Cadavera:  “... a true friend, AND an alien.”  Goonies: “...a true friend, AND a chunk.  Chunk was both.”  Jac Attack VI: World Domination: “...a true friend, AND a writer, AND a burper, AND a swimmer, AND a fashion designer, AND a hobbler, AND a girl.  Jacqueline was all seven.”

Observation: Charlotte was sporting your same bowl cut from back in the day.  You don’t have any recollection of being born from an egg sack in a barn, do you?  513 identical siblings?  Eating flies on a regular basis?  Not ringing any bells?

Notification: My three and a half year-old nephew Caleb has officially changed the name of Egg Nog to Nog Negg.

WARNING: Caleb could out-fart a grown man.